It's another day, another opportunity to tell em to suck your balls.
Whats up everybody its Alex coming to you live from my parents house in De Pere, Wisconsin.
Pretty soon, I'll be moving out of this place and into my new studio apartment in Green Bay. Two more days. I can't wait.
This fall, I will be starting a new journey. A journey to enhance my skills along the way. I will be learning audio engineering, video editing, script writing, Logic (audio production software), and a whole lot more. This is the final piece of the puzzle I need to put in place before I can begin my career. And I mean REALLY begin my career. I have begun, but I have not offered anything of good enough value to get paid yet. After I have mastered my craft, I will be able to work with artists from all over the world. Ideally, though, I will be working out of my own studio in Los Angeles.
I miss LA. One more year living here in Green Bay and I'll be back out there. But first, I've got some business to take care of. I'm not looking forward to the snow, though. I hope it won't cause be to become depressed and miss class/work. I hope my car will survive this year's harsh winter wrath.
I am very optimistic, however, and I know I am doing the right thing. I'll have my own place with no distractions where I can get some serious work done. I have a great feeling about what is to come in the very near future. I get the keys to my apartment on Friday, the day I also get paid. It's going to be a good feeling to be living on my own again and not having that feeling of living at home with my parents at age 24. They're great people and all, but it just doesn't motivate me and I can never get any work done living here because I can't smoke or be loud. I need the vibe to be perfect, no distractions.
Similar to my living situation in Los Angeles. Every Saturday I would wake up at about ten thirty, walk to the dispensary, grab some kush, walk to Starbucks, grab a coffee, smoke a joint on the walk back to my apartment. Soon as I got into my place I'd pop an edible, smoke another joint and get to work. I'd work on music for hours. And it was fucking awesome. I'd take breaks and listen to comedy podcasts. I didn't even need to wear clothes. It was wonderful. No distractions. My own headspace where I could be creative. It's all about being comfortable and free to express yourself. Anytime you have a different vibe interrupting you, your creative efforts are hindered.
Don't get me wrong, some day I'll be able to co-habitate with others, but for now, I need to be left alone to work. I've got a lot brewing in the ol' noggin. It's not anyone's fault they're disrupting me. I just need to do a better job of isolating myself.
In my last blog post I mentioned that I "don't get energy from being around others". That is only half true. It depends on who I'm with. I recently had that statement disproven when I hung out with some fellow artists and went to the bars and had a great time. I was energized and fully engaged the entire time in conversation. I even ran into my ex girlfriend and it didn't feel awkward for me. Maybe it did for her, but for me I was just rolling with it. It was a public place and there was no reason I should have felt weird. It's been two years since we dated and it's okay to be out and about at the same bar your ex is at.
I was staying lifting heavily and not drinking for a while (I think it was about two weeks) but it felt way longer. I made some gains but this past week I drank a lot of mass away. I realized (saw something on Reddit) the day you begin lifting is the day you become forever small. I thought that was so true. Whenever I get really into lifting weights and eating healthy and not drinking, always looking at myself in the mirror and flexing, weighing myself, etc, I always have the urge, (it's an addiction), to get a "pump". Gotta get a pump, bro. "My biceps are looking huge in this polo".
It is a good feeling to gain mass and look bigger, shirts fit tighter, more attention from the opposite sex, etc. But how does one balance the lifestyle of bodybuilding and the lifestyle of fun. How do I look good and not even have to think too much about it? Get back to me. alexbugatti@me.com
I am so close to ordering a mixer with two mic preamps. I think I will order it on Friday. Then I will be able to record some vocals that will actually sound good (compared to my current microphone that I bought in 2010). It's about time. I have the microphones, I just need to hook them up and record. I ordered the wrong mixer online blah blah blah no one cares just get it up and running.
That's all for now. Soon as I get moved into my new place I'll have some people over.
Peace
Praise be to the Muse
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Thursday, August 7, 2014
WHATS UP EVERYBODY?
It's Thursday. Get up and put your nuts on the line. Okay, I'm starting to sound like Joey CoCo Diaz.
I'm drinking a coffee with coconut oil, just sat outside for 20 minutes, had a banana and some water.
I'm TURNT in this bitch and shit.
It's a beautiful day in Ledgeview, Wisconsin. It's hot out, about 80 degrees...blah blah blah no one gives a fuck about the weather.
I haven't smoked any bud since Tuesday. I've been feeling really nostalgic lately. Random memories will pop into my head. I think it's living in this house, my parents house, where I grew up. There are vibes I get all the time because I have suffered so much in this house as a kid. I have gone through so much in this house and it will always be emotionally imprinted within these walls. Sometimes I get sad and think I want to go back in time and redo it all and cause less pain and suffering to myself and my family for putting up with all of my juvenile bullshit. But then I realize that everything happens and whether if it is for a reason or not, one cannot change the past. One can only adapt to the events that have altered their life and make the best of the present moment. Learn from your mistakes and move the fuck on, stop crying about it.
I often have regrets about moving back home. I sometimes wish I would have just stuck it out in Los Angeles, continued to work a shitty job and just make progress toward my dreams. But I went broke, had no choice but to move back and I have learned from my mistakes. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'm only 24 years old. They say that the most successful people in life have had the most setbacks and adversity. Maybe that is me. I mean, shit, look at me. I feel like a 43 year old man stuck in a 24 year old body sometimes. I have gone through some shit. Maybe I'm just exaggerating for effect here, but it is true, I have gone through so much shit, I guarantee most people if they could choose to live my life would pass on that grass in a flash.
I have realized that I am the type of person that could be a comedian. I am very self critical and absorbed, uncomfortable to be around sometimes, awkward, always caught up in my thoughts, very insecure, and very cynical. But when I'm around people (which I generally avoid for the most part) I put on an act. I do this very well and I disguise any flaws I have with positivity and fake happiness. This is why I get burnt out so quickly when I'm with people for any extended period of time. I just can't put on the act long enough. I wish I was outgoing and oblivious. I wish I was easy going... truly easy going. I wish I had tolerance for people. But the truth in the matter is I'm just not that natural social butterfly. I don't get fueled from being around people. I wish I could sit down and just talk to someone about nothing. I'm just not that person. I'm not the "funny guy" or the one everyone wants to be around, just to be around. I'm not a Leo. (lol)
That was a joke about the astrological sign for you motherfuckers out there who are thinking "oh here we go..."
I am a spiritual person. At least I try to be. And from trying I have developed this sense of zen.
Holy shit, this page just went crazy on me and wouldn't let me continue typing. I was yelling obscenities and I hope no one is home because they probably think I'm a nut (which I totally am) Sometimes technical difficulties get the best of me. I have anger issues. I become frustrated super easily about certain things. If I really have my mind set on doing something, I will do it, without error. If something gets in the way, there will be hell to pay. It's totally unhealthy. It's the reason why I walk around with a chip on my shoulder every day and need to run like three miles just to feel normal. It doesn't help that I've been taking testosterone boosters recently. I've been exercising and lifting hard, and have managed to keep my anger in check, but sometimes it does get the best of me. I often yell at the top of my lungs when driving over the most mundane problems. But I'm very efficient. I know I have this anger problem, so I minimize the amount of problems that come my way (for the most part). Once in a while a big one will come up and punch me in the face and there's no avoiding that shit. But I keep my life very orderly and simple. I try to keep the bullshit out of the picture. That's another reason why I don't spend too much time with people, especially people who attract bullshit. I have zero tolerance for drama and bullshit anymore.
Another reason why I don't associate myself with a "group" or "clique" is because I often become a chameleon and act and pick up on slang too easily. I don't belong to a hive. I have figured that shit out after high school. I only fuck with a small circle, and even they don't know what I'm up to most of the time. I'm not completely introverted, nor am I extroverted. I'm somewhere in the middle. I can hold a conversation. But, preferrably, I only like to be social when I'm drinking. It just makes it so much easier for me. I don't generally enjoy socializing about mundane, gossip-centered drivel. I prefer to only talk to people about deep topics and issues and if I am somehow caught up in gossip or small talk, I prefer to be inebriated. That's the only way I can truly participate and tolerate that excuse for a conversation.
Well, that's enough for today. I hope we can chat sometime over coffee ;)
Peace and Praise be to the Muse.
It's Thursday. Get up and put your nuts on the line. Okay, I'm starting to sound like Joey CoCo Diaz.
I'm drinking a coffee with coconut oil, just sat outside for 20 minutes, had a banana and some water.
I'm TURNT in this bitch and shit.
It's a beautiful day in Ledgeview, Wisconsin. It's hot out, about 80 degrees...blah blah blah no one gives a fuck about the weather.
I haven't smoked any bud since Tuesday. I've been feeling really nostalgic lately. Random memories will pop into my head. I think it's living in this house, my parents house, where I grew up. There are vibes I get all the time because I have suffered so much in this house as a kid. I have gone through so much in this house and it will always be emotionally imprinted within these walls. Sometimes I get sad and think I want to go back in time and redo it all and cause less pain and suffering to myself and my family for putting up with all of my juvenile bullshit. But then I realize that everything happens and whether if it is for a reason or not, one cannot change the past. One can only adapt to the events that have altered their life and make the best of the present moment. Learn from your mistakes and move the fuck on, stop crying about it.
I often have regrets about moving back home. I sometimes wish I would have just stuck it out in Los Angeles, continued to work a shitty job and just make progress toward my dreams. But I went broke, had no choice but to move back and I have learned from my mistakes. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'm only 24 years old. They say that the most successful people in life have had the most setbacks and adversity. Maybe that is me. I mean, shit, look at me. I feel like a 43 year old man stuck in a 24 year old body sometimes. I have gone through some shit. Maybe I'm just exaggerating for effect here, but it is true, I have gone through so much shit, I guarantee most people if they could choose to live my life would pass on that grass in a flash.
I have realized that I am the type of person that could be a comedian. I am very self critical and absorbed, uncomfortable to be around sometimes, awkward, always caught up in my thoughts, very insecure, and very cynical. But when I'm around people (which I generally avoid for the most part) I put on an act. I do this very well and I disguise any flaws I have with positivity and fake happiness. This is why I get burnt out so quickly when I'm with people for any extended period of time. I just can't put on the act long enough. I wish I was outgoing and oblivious. I wish I was easy going... truly easy going. I wish I had tolerance for people. But the truth in the matter is I'm just not that natural social butterfly. I don't get fueled from being around people. I wish I could sit down and just talk to someone about nothing. I'm just not that person. I'm not the "funny guy" or the one everyone wants to be around, just to be around. I'm not a Leo. (lol)
That was a joke about the astrological sign for you motherfuckers out there who are thinking "oh here we go..."
I am a spiritual person. At least I try to be. And from trying I have developed this sense of zen.
Holy shit, this page just went crazy on me and wouldn't let me continue typing. I was yelling obscenities and I hope no one is home because they probably think I'm a nut (which I totally am) Sometimes technical difficulties get the best of me. I have anger issues. I become frustrated super easily about certain things. If I really have my mind set on doing something, I will do it, without error. If something gets in the way, there will be hell to pay. It's totally unhealthy. It's the reason why I walk around with a chip on my shoulder every day and need to run like three miles just to feel normal. It doesn't help that I've been taking testosterone boosters recently. I've been exercising and lifting hard, and have managed to keep my anger in check, but sometimes it does get the best of me. I often yell at the top of my lungs when driving over the most mundane problems. But I'm very efficient. I know I have this anger problem, so I minimize the amount of problems that come my way (for the most part). Once in a while a big one will come up and punch me in the face and there's no avoiding that shit. But I keep my life very orderly and simple. I try to keep the bullshit out of the picture. That's another reason why I don't spend too much time with people, especially people who attract bullshit. I have zero tolerance for drama and bullshit anymore.
Another reason why I don't associate myself with a "group" or "clique" is because I often become a chameleon and act and pick up on slang too easily. I don't belong to a hive. I have figured that shit out after high school. I only fuck with a small circle, and even they don't know what I'm up to most of the time. I'm not completely introverted, nor am I extroverted. I'm somewhere in the middle. I can hold a conversation. But, preferrably, I only like to be social when I'm drinking. It just makes it so much easier for me. I don't generally enjoy socializing about mundane, gossip-centered drivel. I prefer to only talk to people about deep topics and issues and if I am somehow caught up in gossip or small talk, I prefer to be inebriated. That's the only way I can truly participate and tolerate that excuse for a conversation.
Well, that's enough for today. I hope we can chat sometime over coffee ;)
Peace and Praise be to the Muse.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
It's a great day to be alive
What's up everybody. It's a great day to be alive. I just woke up, sparked a number, and now I'm bout to cruise over to Quik Trip to get a coffee and a banana. Just popped some fish oil and some 5-HTP along with a multivitamin, an antioxidant, and some vitamin D. Drank twenty ounces of filtered water.
BRB...
This coffee from Quik Trip.. chocolate macadamia nut... are you fuckin kidding me or what? This shit is underrated. Fuck starbucks. I got 16 ounces of flame for only 1.49.
I've got the day off today, and today there's some thing at NWTC that is three hours long that explains the certificates or something. I can't really remember what it's about, all I remember is you can get your $10 application fee waived if you attend this thing. I don't want to go. I'd rather pay ten bucks than drive all the way over to the west side and attend this awkward, buttoned down thing for three hours the whole time I want to jump out of my skin. That shit is just unneccessary. Let's all gather our meat bodies at this place at this time for this amount of time and then you don't have to pay ten US dollars. Sounds like a waste of time to me. I'll just pay the ten, that's okay.
I'm eating a protein bar right now (possibly GMO) with a cup of coffee with coconut oil in it.
In my last blog post, in retrospect, it seems like I'm being too hard on myself about the whole "staying sober" thing. Look, I'm not gonna be one of those people who brag about how they've gone years without a drink. "Had my last drink 34 years ago." I'll still have beers here and there. The key is not overdoing it and then being useless the next day. Anytime I have over three beers in a night I get a little hungover the next day. I don't like to be hungover. Hangovers for me cause me to be depressed for the next couple of days. If I combine liquor and beer forget about it.
I've been running at night to take away the tension rather than taking a beer out of the fridge.
I've been smoking more weed. But I'm smart about it. I'ma productive stoner. Even right now I'm stoned and I'm writing a blog. People out there who think weed makes you lazy and lethargic, it can. If you're already a lazy and lethargic person sober, weed will make you useless unless you actually try to be productive. I am susceptible to being lazy sometimes, but I make myself get up and do shit. Just smoke sativa. And if you can't get good weed from a dispensary where you live, then maybe you just shouldn't smoke. It's pointless to smoke shitty weed. All of the good things about weed are only noticeable when the weed is high quality. If you're piffin dirt, your brain will feel like dirt.
Just an exaggeration. It's not like smoking bad weed will make you useless. If you are a smart person, weed will not affect you in a bad way.
I want to invest in some new studio equipment so I'm saving money. Have not been to the bar in at least a month. It's amazing how much money you can save when you quit being a drunk.
Not to mention I'm in such better shape... mentally and physically. And spiritually. Maybe. That sounds like a load of horseshit.
I've been into this "Numbers" album by MellowHype lately. Check it out. The first two songs I have been bumpin... if you have a good sound system... checc it out...
I've been addicted to gaming too. The needle eventually pierced it's way through my skin again. I've been playing Territory War 3. I don't think there has been a time in my life where I wasn't playing some game. There's always a game.
This blog post is just keeping it light. I will delve into deeper topics in the future. You never know when my next post will be. It might be two hours from now, it might be two days from now. But it's gonna happen. I'm going to stay consistent with these entries and if you want me to check your blog out, let me know.
Peace and Love to all
Praise be to the Muse
BRB...
This coffee from Quik Trip.. chocolate macadamia nut... are you fuckin kidding me or what? This shit is underrated. Fuck starbucks. I got 16 ounces of flame for only 1.49.
I've got the day off today, and today there's some thing at NWTC that is three hours long that explains the certificates or something. I can't really remember what it's about, all I remember is you can get your $10 application fee waived if you attend this thing. I don't want to go. I'd rather pay ten bucks than drive all the way over to the west side and attend this awkward, buttoned down thing for three hours the whole time I want to jump out of my skin. That shit is just unneccessary. Let's all gather our meat bodies at this place at this time for this amount of time and then you don't have to pay ten US dollars. Sounds like a waste of time to me. I'll just pay the ten, that's okay.
I'm eating a protein bar right now (possibly GMO) with a cup of coffee with coconut oil in it.
In my last blog post, in retrospect, it seems like I'm being too hard on myself about the whole "staying sober" thing. Look, I'm not gonna be one of those people who brag about how they've gone years without a drink. "Had my last drink 34 years ago." I'll still have beers here and there. The key is not overdoing it and then being useless the next day. Anytime I have over three beers in a night I get a little hungover the next day. I don't like to be hungover. Hangovers for me cause me to be depressed for the next couple of days. If I combine liquor and beer forget about it.
I've been running at night to take away the tension rather than taking a beer out of the fridge.
I've been smoking more weed. But I'm smart about it. I'ma productive stoner. Even right now I'm stoned and I'm writing a blog. People out there who think weed makes you lazy and lethargic, it can. If you're already a lazy and lethargic person sober, weed will make you useless unless you actually try to be productive. I am susceptible to being lazy sometimes, but I make myself get up and do shit. Just smoke sativa. And if you can't get good weed from a dispensary where you live, then maybe you just shouldn't smoke. It's pointless to smoke shitty weed. All of the good things about weed are only noticeable when the weed is high quality. If you're piffin dirt, your brain will feel like dirt.
Just an exaggeration. It's not like smoking bad weed will make you useless. If you are a smart person, weed will not affect you in a bad way.
I want to invest in some new studio equipment so I'm saving money. Have not been to the bar in at least a month. It's amazing how much money you can save when you quit being a drunk.
Not to mention I'm in such better shape... mentally and physically. And spiritually. Maybe. That sounds like a load of horseshit.
I've been into this "Numbers" album by MellowHype lately. Check it out. The first two songs I have been bumpin... if you have a good sound system... checc it out...
I've been addicted to gaming too. The needle eventually pierced it's way through my skin again. I've been playing Territory War 3. I don't think there has been a time in my life where I wasn't playing some game. There's always a game.
This blog post is just keeping it light. I will delve into deeper topics in the future. You never know when my next post will be. It might be two hours from now, it might be two days from now. But it's gonna happen. I'm going to stay consistent with these entries and if you want me to check your blog out, let me know.
Peace and Love to all
Praise be to the Muse
Friday, August 1, 2014
Just another day in Compton
What's up everybody, welcome to my blog.
This is my first post so it won't be too long, just wanted to get the ball rolling. I've been writing for myself for quite some time now (years) and thought maybe I should share some of my thoughts with the public.
I've been sober now for about a month. I relapsed once but that was because my little brother was having a graduation party and I had some beers. I'm trying to quit drinking to excess. Sure, I'll have a beer here and there, but I don't think getting intoxicated off of GMO corn liquids is conducive to my best health. I want to accomplish great things in my life and if I continue to get beligerent I won't care enough to pursue anything that will take a lot of effort and energy. I'll just work some shitty job and fuel my addiction, living paycheck to paycheck.
Waking up in the morning thinking: "I wish I had the energy to create something today".
Instead, I'd probably just roll over and fall back asleep for another three hours.
My life in a hungover state is miserable. I hate it so much.
Today I signed up for classes at NWTC. I'm going to be starting the Digital Media Technology program in the fall.
What do I wish to accomplish after attaining the skills offered in this program?
The plan is twofold:
a). Move to a bigger city and get a job either editing videos or images, producing a podcast and/or TV show/movie, etc. Basically anything that needs sound or video editing. Where do I plan on moving? Either Los Angeles or Denver. I'm open to other locations but these two cities appeal to me the most.
b). Eventually start my own podcast and open up my own recording studio. I also want to make short films and do stand-up comedy if I ever get the balls to get on stage. I have written a lot of comedic bits but have yet to piece them together into a set and try them out on stage.
I will be living in Green Bay for until I finish this program, which should take about a year. My roomates are probably going to be two good buddies from high school. I've known these guys for years and I think we will get along great living together.
I have been single now for about two years ever since me and my ex girlfriend broke up. I have only really had one serious relationship in my life and I'm not looking to start another anytime soon. Right now I'm just focusing on getting my career started and staying creative, sober and productive. Doesn't mean I'm not open to dating and meeting girls, but I will let them know right away that I'm not looking for anything serious.
This first blog is basically me filling everyone in on my life as it currently is. In further blogs, I will get into deeper, more philosophical and esoteric ideas and concepts, but for now I'm keeping it light. I hope I have painted a good enough picture for people to see the type of person I am and where I currently stand in life.
I'm 24 years old, I'm an artist living in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
Until next time.
Praise be to the Muse.
This is my first post so it won't be too long, just wanted to get the ball rolling. I've been writing for myself for quite some time now (years) and thought maybe I should share some of my thoughts with the public.
I've been sober now for about a month. I relapsed once but that was because my little brother was having a graduation party and I had some beers. I'm trying to quit drinking to excess. Sure, I'll have a beer here and there, but I don't think getting intoxicated off of GMO corn liquids is conducive to my best health. I want to accomplish great things in my life and if I continue to get beligerent I won't care enough to pursue anything that will take a lot of effort and energy. I'll just work some shitty job and fuel my addiction, living paycheck to paycheck.
Waking up in the morning thinking: "I wish I had the energy to create something today".
Instead, I'd probably just roll over and fall back asleep for another three hours.
My life in a hungover state is miserable. I hate it so much.
Today I signed up for classes at NWTC. I'm going to be starting the Digital Media Technology program in the fall.
What do I wish to accomplish after attaining the skills offered in this program?
The plan is twofold:
a). Move to a bigger city and get a job either editing videos or images, producing a podcast and/or TV show/movie, etc. Basically anything that needs sound or video editing. Where do I plan on moving? Either Los Angeles or Denver. I'm open to other locations but these two cities appeal to me the most.
b). Eventually start my own podcast and open up my own recording studio. I also want to make short films and do stand-up comedy if I ever get the balls to get on stage. I have written a lot of comedic bits but have yet to piece them together into a set and try them out on stage.
I will be living in Green Bay for until I finish this program, which should take about a year. My roomates are probably going to be two good buddies from high school. I've known these guys for years and I think we will get along great living together.
I have been single now for about two years ever since me and my ex girlfriend broke up. I have only really had one serious relationship in my life and I'm not looking to start another anytime soon. Right now I'm just focusing on getting my career started and staying creative, sober and productive. Doesn't mean I'm not open to dating and meeting girls, but I will let them know right away that I'm not looking for anything serious.
This first blog is basically me filling everyone in on my life as it currently is. In further blogs, I will get into deeper, more philosophical and esoteric ideas and concepts, but for now I'm keeping it light. I hope I have painted a good enough picture for people to see the type of person I am and where I currently stand in life.
I'm 24 years old, I'm an artist living in Green Bay, Wisconsin.
Hope everyone is having a great day.
Until next time.
Praise be to the Muse.
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